Americans are the most prolific wordsmiths ever!

America is a great nation that is peopled with wordsmiths. They are so colourful and playful with words that It is easy to feel inferior when you listen to them- from their president to the ordinary folk on the street or read their books.

In fact, I bow most times and wonder how they do it when I listen to them on international television stations like the CNN or read their books: work of fiction, motivational or inspirational. Every thing about them including obvious failures takes-on fanciful and user friendly colouration by way of names.

Just imagine, When their “borrow borrow make me fine” citizens borrowed their banks vaults clean of every available dime with collaterals that I am very sure would not attract a second look from any Nigerian bank, they quickly coined the phrase “credit crunch” and not wanting the rest of the world to accuse them of “gross incompetence and failure to carry them along” and all the “roforofo” that goes with it, they quickly, through their trans-national firms, exported the phenomenon to the rest of the world and rechristened it “global financial meltdown” and got every Professor Soludo all over the world thanklessly busy helping them to solve their local problem. See how they have globalized their headache? Who knows if they are not too comfortable with all the billions been warehoused by the oil producing nations and only created this bogey to get them to spend some of it on smokes?

Now they have been offered a staggering $700b lifeline by the congress to go and crunch the crunches in the bank and recast the economy alternatively, buy holy water and quench the taste of that evil fire that has melted down the coins in the vault and return the “borrow borrow” crowd back to business.

Anyone who has been following the current election in the country would have noticed how they have been coming up with ground shaking words to describe different situations. There was initially a “presumptive nominee” even when the results from the states had thrown up a winner, I thought they would have called it presumptive president after the conventions but not the Americans, they have returned to our level, it is now “presidential candidate”

For the pre-election day voters, they have coined early voters as if they are referring to the first set of voters on the national election day of 4th November. Pre according to the Webster dictionary means before hand or earlier than while early means at or near the beginning of a period of time, which means that if the time for the commencement of voting was say, 8 am, the early voters would have been those that came and voted between say, 12-7 am; let me know if and when I am wrong, I am not an English language graduate but Accountancy.

Other new vocabulary associated with the presidential election includes “swing” and “battle” states. While the swing states are those whose majority votes can go either way and has largely determined the outcome of previous elections like Florida, the battle states are those that both candidates have to struggle and work more harder to convince the majority as to why they should be voted for.

Comparatively, I wonder why any of the states should be called a battle state. Other than “Obama is palling around with terrorists” “and “that one” and all that uncomplimentary remarks from the erratic and irascible McClain and his desk clerk or is it tea girl like vice presidential candidate, one has not seen the “youth wing” of any of the parties going to the home of the opponents to warn, burn or make assassination attempt on their life or that of their supporters. No one including the opposition Democrats has been denied the use of any venue of their choosing nor barred from returning to his own state of origin. No one is been barred and unbarred with the speed of a swinging pendulum. Above all, we have not seen a visible godfather in the mode of a Chris nor the green mamba called Andy manipulating everything and every body on behalf of baba landlord.

Hypocrites! we know all the reasons Obama will not win-racism but we don’t know the ones that has made it possible for an ordinary folk with just the intelligence and charisma to get to where he is today.

An extremely lucky “Obama” in Nigeria’s politics today is either a P.A to a governor or an adviser on special duties and that is, if he was wise enough to have helped “His Excellency” during his under graduate days with some assignments or even exams.

Ilobi Austin, www.vibratingaustin.blogspot.com a social commentator writes from Warri.