Barack Obama, against all odds and all things remaining equal as they seemed to have been all this while, emerged victorious, and will today, at exactly 6pm Nigerian time and 12 noon American time, be sworn-in as the 44th president of the
However, the issues that have rather kept the mind agitated since his emergence from that historic election remains this. Exactly what, was it that made it possible for him to have succeeded where other equally great and charismatic leaders of coloured origin scarcely made a dent? How did he develop that uncommon confidence in his own ability against a very “experienced” opponent? Why was his intelligence and personality so electrifying, to the extent as to cause majority of the voting public in
The answer to all of the above questions can be summed up in just two words, made up of twenty five alphabets- transformational parenting. He, unlike most of his contemporaries in public life, got a kind of training that enabled the psychological balancing of his personality.
So, rather than the defeatist approach to life of most African-Americans which sees them always locating the reasons for their failures to excel in life outside of self, he confronted the challenges of life with the winner attitude, believing that any loss thereof would not be because, he is of lesser intelligence nor of the unlikely skin colouration required for such, but be due to the probabilities that is always attached to any worthy enterprise, after all probable contingencies has been planned for.
Mentally, man is proved to be composed of many complexes, each striving to gain complete dominance over the others and consequently, him. The only fact to be feared here is that, should any of the complexes gain complete and permanent control over us, we become everything but complete and wanted humans.
But this is not in any way suggesting that we would be better off without them; no! In fact, it is most supremely desirable in man. For without it, he would be as empty as computer hardware- just potentially useful. These complexes, which are constantly in a kind of “survival of the fittest” relationship with one another becomes destructive only where any one of them is unconsciously allowed to on a permanent basis, dominate the other and us. However, there is always one by whose outward manifestation our personality, is perceived, so, we are described as, stubborn, gentle, bad, good etc by the manifestation of this complex depending on what it represents.
To understand the importance of complexes, we just x-ray the fear complex. At its balanced level, it serves to help us preserve our lives by taking only calculated risk but at its extreme, it paralyzes us and stops us from doing anything and becoming nothing.
In Obama’s case, different circumstances and environment where he found himself helped to bring out the best of the complexes in him as the dominant one. This accounts for why, the media did not get tired of describing him as charismatic and charming unlike his main rival who tried so late in life to alter his dominant traits with the unintended application of the wrong defence mechanism-displacement.
The best time to alter complexes-both those inherited from our parents and those we picked up by accident of the environment we found ourselves- to bring out the best of our personality is in the mornings of our lives and not in the afternoon nor evenings! Old habit they say die-hard and besides, you cannot hope to teach an old man new manners with ease. Once filled with information from both our parents and the environment, the soul or mind cannot be, easily altered. The mind filters information as it receives it and pass on only those that corresponds with our aspirations.
So, the duties of parents and intending ones today, is to research about complexes and how to help the young to become the best he/she can become. can you do that? yes you can! Don’t know how to go about it or Time? Well, just ask me! I will be glad to help you to help somebody become a leader, today!
Ilobi Austin is the author of several e-materials on diverse topics like finance, relationship and health that are readily available @Ebube Dike plaza.
By Edward Sanford Martin
Within my, earthly temple, there is a crowd;
There is one of us that is humble, one that is proud;
There is one that is broken-hearted for his sins,
There is one that unrepentant, sits and grins,
There is one that loves his neighbour as himself,
And one that cares for naught but fame and pelf,
From such corroding, should I be free,
If I could once, determine which is me.